Like most adults in western society, I wear antiperspirant on a daily basis. In fact, after having used the product day in, day out for the last 15 or so years, one might expect that I've become something of an expert in the application of it. Today proved me wrong.
I went to work out today, and halfway through my shower afterwards I realized I'd left a chair jammed in the door of the workout room in an attempt to not die from a combination of heat and shellac fumes from the pool reconstruction. Now, I live in the sort of building where some old biddy can be counted on to notice every wrong-doing within a 5km radius. I can only assume that one of them was watching me from her apartment window, watch in hand and frown on face as she waited for someone to return and take care of the wayward door.
In my hurry to get dressed so I could go and fix this grievous error, I managed to pit-stick myself to the utmost degree. This was not your typical "streak on the shirt hem" pit-sticking. No.
Imagine a 5 year old putting on makeup.
Now you have an idea of the sort of mess I made of my dress. Thank god for the old "cotton sock" trick, though even that required some vigorous scrubbing because apparently I ground it all in there pretty good.
I'm a failure of a human being.
