The Wangliest Thing of All

So here's the thing, I'm kind of a mess right now. I've just spoken to my mother, who is a loving and kind individual who, like most mothers, also happens to have a terrible knack for sniffing out unhappiness and then digging at it, like a terrier down a rat hole, until it has been dragged shrieking and writhing out into the sunlight, exposed and naked and filthy. It can no longer hide itself within the dark corners of my mind, not that it's been doing a good job of that lately, anyway. If it had, my mother would never have caught wind because like most normal human adults, I like to pretend that I am not floundering. I like to put forth the image that I am a capable and productive member of society, that I enjoy my little existence here and that yes, I am doing OK.

Well I'm not. There it is.

Terrible way to begin a blog, I'm aware. It reeks of self absorption and self pity, Eau de Friend Who Always Has A Complaint. If I could bottle that...well, no one would buy it because it sucks. I'd hate for you to think I'm all about the drama; I assure you I'm not. Nor am I desperately seeking the attention and love of the internet. I am simply throwing it out there, because until you throw it out there, the only person who knows is yourself. The only person you're accountable to is yourself and let's face it, we are all poor judges of ourselves. At least I am. If you're sitting there thinking "oh, not me," then you're probably a liar.

...Not to call you a liar or anything, because that would be rude.

The point is, if I don't really want to do something, I'm not always standing in the other corner, telling myself to just friggin' do it. But now you are.

ANYWAY. I've been thinking about starting a blog for quite a while, thinking of ideas, realizing they're stupid, thinking of other ideas, telling myself they're not good enough for a "first post!" kind of affair, and then finally I just said to hell with it, here it is:

My life is wangly. That's all there is to it. You know it, I know it, there's no sense hiding it. I'll try not to whine about it too much, if you try to believe me after this utterly abysmal start.

I hope we can still be friends.